Tat Tvam Asi

i need a haircut. i need to get my eyebrows done, they look like sloshed obese caterpillars. i need to get some gadgets fixed so i can get some variety back into our life. i need to sort out my financial loose ends.

what i need really is an alternate universe where everything goes the way i want it to. but now that i think abt it, that wouldnt be much fun.

the uncertainty, the not knowing, the whammy at the end that life/fate throws at me is what makes it a roller-coaster thriller flick at best.

i may not be the wretched puppet, but i am still not the sole scriptwriter of my life. i cannot claim any copyrights on this here play. so i grin and wink at the Unseen and carry on messing up what i can.

I know. I did it again. I neglected you. Have I changed? I started blogging as a surrogate for my old faithful dog-eared, falling-to-pieces diary...pure self-indulgence. Somewhere along the way, with some attention, I turned exhibitionist. Okay thats a bit extreme, but I am a lil self-conscious in that room since I know someone's reading...maybe. Do I want someone to read me or am I just, as of old, writing to myself? I rue the watering down of my original intent.

But I will always have you and the other as my own private (?, not totally) confessional booths...I come to you when I'm really worked up privately inside...for the loner Me.

For thats what I will always be...beneath all the laughing, joking, pontificating masks I wear. So you shd have no fear of losing me.

Love,
Me